Misplaced anger.

Posted on August 23, 2008 @ 07:59AM

Alicia came over to see me at my dorm. I’d missed a lot of self-defense because of my depression and paranoia over the whole situation in Atlantia.

“Kicking things would probably help,” said Alicia.

We turned up at self-defense and for a change I just through myself into it. I’d felt quite tense during the warm-ups, and wanted to get into the action of it. This feeling persisted during the synchronized attack and defense patterns.

Then we broke boards, something I’d never been that good at, because I was never that good at concentrating. Tonight, I just busted through them like it was paper. I just imagined Black Guard faces on the boards.

Next was sparring, and I usually got my ass handed to me, but not tonight. I just waited and gritted my teeth, for someone to select me to fight, because I was usually a pushover. These people really bothered me, I’m a friendly person, and don’t like it when anyone gets picked on, but this time, I unleashed. My opponent was a girl named Melanie Grismane from the South Republic. She had Australian mammal splicer genes, I’d never cared enough to find out what type. Physically, we were a pretty even match, but tonight, I really felt the bear genes. I was quick, I was strong, and I knew the moves. She couldn’t land a hit. I dodged, I blocked and then I laid her out with a roundhouse to the face. She didn’t know what hit her.

She got up, and I moved in to continue, before the instructor interjected.
“Calm down, Havel,” he said, “You’re doing well tonight, but we’re not here to beat up on each other.”

He was right, I’ve just felt so much anger and confusion lately. I need to find a way to properly channel this.

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